Family commitment. He commits sufficient time and energy to the moral and educational development of the children. He reads to them, engages in sports with them, and takes them on frequent outings. He reads books and attends lectures with his wife on the subject of child development so they will do a good job training the children. They discuss training methods and objectives until they agree. He does not proceed with any plan of training discipline without her approval and recognizes that his care of the children is critically important to her. Honesty and openness - Husbands should have no problem turning their schedules over to their wives, especially if they've been unfaithful. Women usually want a choice between following a career and being a homemaker — possibly they want a combination of the two.

Ans: There are many unhealthy patterns that frequently occur in relationships. One of the most common is one person taking control excessively and the other feeling too afraid to speak up. Others include endlessly trying to please their partner instead of listening to them, miscommunication, and constant fighting. Regarding healthy patterns, both people should have needs that are met regularly. FRIENDS of Intimate Conversation: 1. Conversing to inform ( personal feelings, interests and activities: supportive not critical), investigate (same), and understand (same) in positive and encouraging ways. 2. Developing interest in each other’s favorite topics of conversation. 3. Balancing the conversation (good listener and good talker, say when someone interrupts the other) 4. Giving each other undivided attention (look in the eyes) I changed this from 3 stars to 2 stars after thinking about it overnight. First of all, this book is obviously written by a man! Someone who has never given birth or stayed at home full time with babies/toddlers/preschoolers. Harley takes a very shallow, worldly approach to marriage. In my opinion, he does not show any evidence of writing from a Christian perspective. He seems to almost condone adultery, if the innocent spouse wasn't meeting the "needs" of the guilty party. Similarly, he appears to place blame which should be for the guilty spouse on the shoulders of the innocent party. Women's needs are, "Affection," "Intimate Conversation," "Honesty and Openness," "Financial Support," and "Family Support" (being a good parent).

His Needs Her Needs List

Happily married couples are already aware of this principle and have learned how to make their marriage a full-time priority. Other than 15 hours for undivided attention to the wife, you have to budget additional 15 hours per week to a quality family time.*(Consider your total time each week. You have 168 hours (24 hours a day, 7 days a week). For 8 hours of sleep each night (don’t risk your health), take 56 hours away, leaving 112 hours. If you estimate the time it takes to get ready for work in the morning and ready for bed at night to take another 12 hours, that leaves 100 hours. Your job, including getting there and returning home again, should not take more than 50 hours a week (if you work more than that, you cannot achieve your most important objectives in life). What is a quality family time? Meals together as a family, going out for walks and bike rides, attending church services, family meetings, playing board games together, reading to the children before bedtime, helping the children with financial planning, family projects and household task-such as preparing and having meals together.

It’s important to remember that no one person can meet everyone else’s needs in a relationship. That’s why it’s always important for both parties to communicate openly and honestly about what they need from the other person. This way, they can ensure that their relationship is fulfilling for both. What Are Her Needs In A Relationship? This book the cornerstone of my marriage. My husband and I read it early on and I really feel that it was the secret to our success and smooth sailing through the rough patches and growing pains we faced in our first few years. It helps couples put their fingers on their own needs and the needs of their spouses, and gives you a common language and understanding to draw from, which vastly improves your ability to communicate about these important issues. Domestic support. She creates a home that offers him a refuge from the stresses of life. She manages the household responsibilities in a way that encourages him to spend time at home enjoying his family.Harley essentially says that romantic love is a formula. That's bad news to any die-hard romantics, but that's wonderful news to the rest of the world. It means that if we focus on understanding what our spouse's emotional needs are, work to fulfill them - and if they do the same for us - then the love feelings will return. No need to "fall in love" with a new person and have an affair which will obviously damage the marriage. Yet even spouses who cheat can learn how to 100% end their affairs and have love with their spouse again. These repaired marriages can experience the same, if not BETTER quality of love and fulfillment, to boot. (Again, this is an educated psychologist speaking from experience). There’s always something to know about her that you don’t know. Focus on what the other is feeling, thinking and doing. Should be personal. So, why would I read a book like this in my situation? Because my sister told me to! Okay, maybe that's a silly reason, but it really does come down to it. On the advice of a friend, she read this book and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura just before she met, dated, and then married her husband. She recommended them to me because they helped her to have the right mindset of how to handle the balance of "his needs" and "her needs" that comes up in any relationship. She was able to make sure that she recognized and met his needs, and then communicated to him what her needs were.

Trust is the foundation of any marriage. Be honest and open with each other. Share your fears and dreams. Trust grows when you’re transparent. Women mostly prioritize honesty and openness therefore, partners should not disregard this need. I have had a lot about phones being private, but in my experience, whatever you can use to harbor secrets should be an open discussion. This book has some valid points, like making sure that spouses spend time together, but there are an overwhelming amount of things that make this book not worth the read. The first thing to understand is that a man’s needs are typically more physical. This means he’s primarily concerned with his well-being and wants what he thinks will make him happy. He may also place a high value on independence and self-sufficiency, which can make him frustrated or abandoned if these needs aren’t met. Her Needs What To Do When Your Spouse Says: I Dont Love You Anymore! Keep Your Spouse From Bolting & Buy Time To Improve Your Marriage.Honesty is good. Honesty is important. Radical Honesty can be hurtful because it leaves out compassion. Do not use “honesty” to hurt the other person. Yes, if you had an affair, your spouse needs to know. But going into gory details is likely to be the wrong approach. Therefore, I am changing this from 5* to 4*. (July 29, 2022) A wife must have a man contributing to the well-being of her children, whether it’s the husband or someone else. In a relationship, both parties have needs. His needs are the things that are important to him, and hers are the things that are important to her. His needs may include things like affection, support, and understanding. She may need reassurance, care, and love. Together, they can work out a compromise that meets their individual needs.

Historical honesty: Reveal information about your personal history, particularly events that demonstrate personal weakness or failure. Other reviewers complain about Harley saying women’s most important emotional needs are generally x and men’s are generally y. This book is largely about preventing or recovering from an affair. Lest you say that this doesn't apply to "me", he points out that a person (even a person with solid religious belief, and firm moral conviction) may be tempted into an affair, seduced by a "relationship built upon fantasy, not reality." In addition, by meeting the needs of your spouse, and by having your needs met, you will transform your marriage into something wonderful. It is also well written. Now, on to the basics of the book: Dozens of creative and inexpensive date ideas specifically for celebrating the season, birthdays, anniversaries, vacation dates and other special occasions! After carving away time for all of these things, there are still 50 hours left for you to schedule. You have 15 hours for undivided attention and another 15 hours for quality family time, leaving you 20 hours for everything else you want to accomplish: household tasks, hobbies, church activities, more time at work, or just sitting at home relaxing.)That is absolutely not the case. Harley does not excuse anything. Though he does discuss and dissect affairs with complete objectivity, as is his job. Though this may be true for some women, it’s only the case for some. In fact, some women thrive in strong and independent relationships where they can take care of themselves. These are the women who need Her needs in a relationship defined. I thought people might have been exaggerating when they claimed this was the best marriage book they'd ever read, but this book was really something. The author's insights are fantastic - for married, divorced, and single people alike. I thought of about five people I'd like to lend it to. I think everyone could benefit from reading it. The appendices were also very helpful. Learn how to reach agreement with your wife regarding the rules expected to follow and how to discipline. Otherwise the children learn to divide and makes a deal with one parent. Both mom and dad should consult in private and give an agreed-on answer. When your most important emotional needs are met by your spouse, he or she deposits the greatest possible number of love units into your Love Bank, and you experience a feeling of love toward your spouse. The same is true for your spouse. When you meet his or her most important emotional needs, your spouse experiences a feeling of love for you.